M for Motherhood..M for Madness
There are so many things that come along with Motherhood. Love, Patience, Strength, Caring, creativity, humor, generosity, affection, unselfishness, supportive, empathy, honesty, thoughtfulness, flexibility, commitment. These and some more adjectives very well Motherhood but no body added the most important word that defines Motherhood the best according to me “Madness”. See its easy, Motherhood can be described in so many different ways,words,feelings but when all the above mentioned things are put into one woman she becomes Mad. Yes, this is the phase of life through which I am going right now.
Since the day I got married, I was counseled to become a Mother. Though I did not fall prey to all such ears. I took my own luxury time to come to decision to become a Mother,after 3 years. The madness in bits started the time I conceived. I had to abandon my Job because I was not fit enough to manage pregnancy & job both at the same time, had to choose one. Whenever I used to go for an ultrasound test, a new problem was adding to my craziness.It must have hardly happened I went for an ultrasound and did not return home with a weepy face. Pregnancy induced thyroid, so I was on a strict diet along with medication. Then there was heartburn, cramps and so many problems. Whole pregnancy I was sleeping on left side of my body as the Gynecologist suggested it helps in good blood circulation towards the baby. I was dying to sleep on all sides but no just to keep my unborn safe, I slept left whole 9 months. My baby refused to come on the desired date,He arrived 3 days late than the expected time via a C-section delivery. Those 3 days seemed like 3 years to me as I was so desperate to get out of this whole pregnancy fiasco. Finally, I thought thats the end of my suffering. But I was so so wrong. My suffering as a Mother started after baby’s arrival. After baby I feel pregnancy was easier.
My baby who is 10 months old have been having problem with sleep since the day he arrived. I was told,babies start sleeping properly after 40 days. Till 40th day, every day & night I prayed for 40th day to arrive but on 41st day it was the same scene. Then they told its 3 months, babies take 3 months to come to a proper sleep schedule. 3 months came & went I was still awake at 3 o’clock at night singing or playing or feeding my owl. Then they said its 6 months, there was still no improvement at my end. Since then I have stopped thinking of peaceful sleep at night. Its been 10 months now..still no signs of improvement.
I am obsessed with baby poop.Poop color,poop time, poop consistency. I sound like a poop inspector these days. Phew, starting on solids has been a task.My baby has been trained by the Interpol to not to open his mouth come whatever may. He will just not open his mouth for anything that even closely smells or resembles food. Then forcefully pushing things into his mouth is my part of job and his expertise lies in throwing everything on my clothes and hands. Hurray, he wins most of the times.Feeling gross about something is a forgotten dream these days. Because I have been on a poop explosion & puke explosion cleaning spree since 10 months.
My hair are always tied in a high pony or bun. Because I do not remember when the comb and my hair met last time. These are just few things and I know many are on my way to this Madness journey of being a Mother.
I am a Mother who is standing on the edge of loosing her sanity.
But I am also a Mother who is loving this madness. I love to see that giggly face when I blow bubbles on his stomach. I love to blow hundreds & thousands of kisses everyday just because I love that part of mine more than anything else in the World. I love to carefully cut little nails from those chubby hands because I am scared of cutting him in the process. Giving baths to my water baby and making him play in water just because he loves so. I am fan of those little happy dances by the tiny feet done everyday. I don’t mind being a night watchman for my baby because I do not want him to be alone when he plays at that time. When I look at my baby’s face, I talk to myself “Why I took so much time to bring you in this World, what I could have done without you?” Such is my situation after becoming a Mother. I am happy & sad for same things that are happening in my life.
Are you in same phase of life right now? Please do let me know in the comments.